Gerald (Jerry) Zezas

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I’m Going to Make an Anchor Baby

The fourteenth amendment to the Constitution grants citizenship to “all persons born or naturalized in the United States”. With all the idiocy regarding “anchor babies”, I decided to do what Liberals do and Conservatives hate-that is, get the facts.

Ok, so I start as a pregnant woman in Mexico. I somehow cross the border while avoiding capture in my delicate state and take up illegal residence in, lets say, Texas. I hide out until I give birth. I have the baby in the house in which I’m living since I’m scared to go to the hospital where they will require full information about me and so I’d risk getting caught and deported. I have a darling baby girl.

Next, according to actual US law regarding children of immigrants, I MUST GO BACK TO MY COUNTRY OF ORIGIN and patiently wait for 21 years while my baby grows (while being cared for and raised by someone else) so that my baby, now my grown daughter, can make application for me to come back into the country. Before she can apply, she must prove that I have not committed any crimes nor ever been deported from the US and that she can afford to support me on her current salary. If my daughter leaves the country before she’s 21 there can be issues of residency, and it could jeapordize this entire conspiracy.

Then, and only then, can my daughter apply for parent citizenship, and there is no guarantee that it will be approved. If it is, then I can make application through the embassy of my home country and hope for the best. There are no guarantees that it will be granted.

Yup, that’s it folks. She must be born here, I have to leave her here, without me, until she turns 21, and then maybe, maybe, I’d be allowed legal entry into the US. But that would be LEGAL ENTRY, which Conservatives claim to have no problems with.

No wonder Repubs are so up in arms about this. Having an anchor baby is a piece of cake, as long as you’re too ignorant to understand the law!


1 Comment

  1. Bill Cadiz says:

    Bully cops! Anchor babies! Immigration! Hey, I’m intimately familiar with all three. First off, Mary and I are immigrants (legal) since 1964. We were actually quite undecided about going all the way to citizenship until we went back for my mom’s funeral in 1974. A bloody coup attempt had taken place in our absence and our peaceful little island home had become hard and tense. When we saw the blatant flashing of serious small arms by the local police and military we chose to immediately start the process to become official ‘Mericans. By then Pete had been born in Miami. Pete, now an army vet and Orlando homicide detective (definitely one of the good ones) has been teased about being an Anchor Baby for years, despite not technically being one. On one subsequent visit to Trinidad I was stopped at a roadblock by a large and scowling cop in full swat gear, submachine gun ready to point at my face, who demanded to see my driver’s licence. He saw the original issuance date and declared it to be invalid. Every time I attempted to explain how Florida does business he cut me off. The gun started to get close to my face. I played his game and apologized for being so careless and promised I would take care of business as soon as I got back. He ordered “Move on” and Mary and I got away from Trinidad as fast as we could. So there you have it. Some cops, no matter the country, are bad guys. Some immigrants, legal or not, can also be bad guys, and I’m sure Anchor Babies do exist, but to freak out and claim that because of a few blemishes the country should submit to radical plastic surgery is radical nonsense. Again, if we want to boast of being sensible, just, well-ordered Good Americans, we need to calm down and learn once again to think before reacting like Neanderthals (no offense, cousin).

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