When I hear the oft-repeated myth about the humility of the religious, I can’t help but get angry at the institutionalized arrogance of those who believe that they are, simultaneously humble AND singularly worthy of everlasting life.
No other element, no other life-form, no other chemical, is assured of life beyond their normal expiration date. There are more planets and stars than people on earth. There are more atoms and molecules than people on earth. There are more bugs, animals, cells, bacteria and other life-forms than people on earth. There is considerably more of everything than there are people on earth. Yet, according to the Stairway to Heaven sect, it is only we relatively few upon whom are bestowed this gift of everlasting brain-wave function that is commonly referred to as life. And this belief in our absolute and inarguable right to a place above the clouds, surrounded by various (in some religions) virgins or (in others) all of our family and friends along with everlasting happiness and unlimited ice cream sundaes in ALL FLAVORS makes us, err, ahh, humble? We believe that all that aforementioned stuff dies, leaving us in charge of FROM NOW ON, and this somehow makes us simple, unpretentious and unassuming. Tu te fous de moi?
Everything else just dies. Mighty planets and stars explode, atoms deteriorate, molecules break apart, amoebas….do something or other, butterflies get eaten by other bugs, birds crash into windows and fish are yanked from the deep and videotaped, suffocating, while held aloft by the heavily inked arm of someone who believes that having tricked one into biting a hook proves his transcendence. Yet of these poor secondary and tertiary life-forms, these apparently unremarkable, historically disposable bits of astronomical effluent, we are, by some stroke of ecumenical good fortune, exempt?
These people believe that they are singularly worthy of ascent to the Cosmic Rainbow Room by simple virtue of the fact that they can imagine it. Yet, they call themselves humble. Because they bow to the Cosmological Cap’n Crunch, we should see them as unassuming, modest and demure, even though they think only they have All-Access passes to the God show?
Blessed are those who make up self-serving shit, for they will die having never known their irrelevance.
Help me Jesus…