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Oh My God Jeb!

OK, now I’m getting scared…

Jeb Bush, in a speech that was not extemporaneous, was clearly written out on paper and presumably practiced, said the following yesterday:

1. He mispronounced, quite badly, Boko Haram, a terrorist group that any American president will have to understand.

2. He confused Iraq and Iran

3. He said that ISIS had 200,000 members. They have 20,000 members (as his own spokesman admitted later)

4. He said that immigration is a “catalytic converter”. That is a part that goes on the exhaust system of your car. He meant “catalyst”

All in just one speech!

Now, I may sound as if I’m picking nits, but am I the only person who expects my president to know more about world events than some wine bar owner in Nokomis Florida? These were not some goofy teleprompter flubs. This was a practiced speech that he was reading slowly and carefully!

But, if you think about it, this seems to be exactly the kind of person who Republicans love (see George W Bush), which it why I’m scared. This guy is just stupid enough to win lots of Republican votes!

Now I’m waiting to hear how he pronounces N-U-C-L-E-A-R. If he says “nucular”, I fear that the White House lost…

It’s About Time That Our News Caught Up With All The Dictatorships In The World

In case you were not aware, Iran, Russia, China, Cuba, North Korea, and Palestine all have something in common, and now the state of Indiana will have it too. Oh, not sure what I’m talking about? Well, read on…

Mike Pence, Repub governor of Indiana has announced that the state of Indiana will now have a government run news site. That’s right democracy fans, a major player in Repub politics and potential Presidential candidate will be rolling out a department that will write news articles and disseminate them to the media. Just like every dictatorship on the globe!

Yessiree bob, all of you super-patriots can now have your news delivered to you just like Joseph Goebbels did for Nazi Germany (that comment was included because Repubs love to talk about Nazis), Pravda did for the former Soviet Union, the KCNA in North Korea and all the other government agencies that feel the need to limit the power of the free press by giving their own versions of “news”.

It’s great to be able to rely on the Repub party to protect our freedoms, isn’t it? You know, like our freedom to kill each other at random with guns and such. But a free press, well, that’s fine as long as they don’t report anything that Repubs don’t like.

I guess Fox “News” isn’t quite “fair and balanced” enough for them…Sure, I get that. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

The Right Thinks That More Snow Means It’s Colder Outside

Here we go again. Another forecast for a major storm in the northeast and someone on Fox once again making their snarky “so much for global warming” comment. It boggles my mind that getting a job as a Fox spokesmodel requires so little fundamental education. I’ll explain this slowly to my Repub friends…

Snow does not come from cold, any more than rain comes from heat. Snow comes from moisture in the air, just like rain. When it’s warm and there is an abundance of moisture in the air, we get rain. When its cold and there’s an abundance of moisture in the air, we get snow. Got it so far?

Now, how does that moisture get into the air you ask? Say it with me now, evap…evapor…evapora…evaporation. Great!

And what causes more water to evaporate into the air than it ever has in our history? Well, one cause can be because the air and seas are warmer, so, more water evaporates! And so, that’s right class, when the earth warms, we get more moisture in the air, so that when it’s warm in the summer, we get bigger and nastier hurricanes. And when it’s cold in the winter? That’s right, we get bigger, nastier snow storms! All because of that nasty guy named evaporation!

The forecast for the northeast is not for exceptionally cold whether, just normal winter temperatures. The difference is that with so much moisture in the air from global warming, when it does snow, it’s going to be a lot worse.

See, when you actually think about it, there’s no need to go around saying that “you’re not a scientist” when asked about climate change, because you can be just like a scientist by simply using facts!

OK, recess.

Can the Wealthy Really Buy Elections?

There is much hand-wringing over the issue of campaign financing, and the presumption, on both sides, that the other side is buying elections. Yet no one seems to be able to point out which election, exactly, has been purchased by big money interests and by whom?

Examples include the fact that Sheldon Adelson gave $100 million to Newt Gingrich during the 2012 primary. This is the guy with the casinos in Macao and the desire to see Israel become the 51st state. He is, presumably, a pretty smart guy, yet he spent the equal of the GDP of a small Latin American country on the Presidential aspirations of an aging Pillsbury dough boy. That money’s gone, and, thankfully, Newt still can’t get a ride on Air Force One.

Meg Whitman spent $90 million to become governor of California, yet the governor of California is named Jerry Brown.

Campaign finance spending is a zero sum game. There are an equal amount of rich Democrats and Republicans. They give roughly equal amounts to their respective candidates. There is only so much TV air time for sale, and they’re close to saturating it now. Plus, who among us has been swayed by a TV add or robocall? All this money that gets spent on these extremely basic forms of advertising have yet to be proven effective. Barack Obama’s last campaign is said to have cost almost $1 billion. Does anyone think that if the next guy spends $1.1 billion that he’s assured the election?

Looking at it another way, the spending of money, for whatever reason, is good for the economy. Imagine how many local print shops are bolstered by campaign money. How many jobs are created, albeit temporary jobs, manning phone banks and the like. And all the newspaper and TV ads that go to support the people who work for those firms. They all eat lunch, get their clothes dry-cleaned, and buy gas for their cars to get to work. Every one of these things is a boost for the economy.

And the money is not coming from people who don’t want to spend it. The money is coming from lots of wealthy people who would otherwise be keeping it in an off-shore bank account or some other place where its not accessible. The fact that they’re spending it on campaigns puts it back in circulation and increases spending in what was recently a stagnant economy.

Plus I like seeing wealthy people throw their money away. It gives me a sense that the world is a fair place..

Sorry, but everyone is not beautiful

I think that modern society has gone a bit overboard in its reaction to those of us who aren’t considered, shall we say, beautiful. It seems that every other day I am seeing some article where “full figured” or larger than average female models are showing us their underwear. This, in isolation, would be fine, if it weren’t for the fact that these pictures are usually accompanied by prose admonishing me and, presumably you, for not considering how “beautiful” these chubby women are.

Folks, if everything is labeled “beautiful”, then it will render nothing as such. When one of my grandkids produces a crayon drawing, it is cute. The Mona Lisa is beautiful. (I’ve seen it in the Louvre). A 5’6″ woman who weighs 200 pounds might be pretty, successful, sweet, kind and intelligent. Victoria Secret models are beautiful. My Honda Accord is a great car and I really like how it looks. A 1973 Ferrari 365 GTB/4 is beautiful. So is a 1966 Jag E Type.

We can’t all be the smartest, cutest, skinniest, sexiest of our respective groups (Ok, except for me, depending on whom you ask). By attempting to shame, cajole, or embarrass me into calling something beautiful which, to me, is not, you are not improving the lives of those to whom these insincere compliments are being attached. The skinniest kid in fat camp is still…fat.

The problem is not exactly whom we consider to be beautiful. The problem is the need to be beautiful. I’m sure its great when you walk into a room, only to hear all conversation stop as those in it absorb the beauty that is you. I’m sure its great to have people comment on your slim figure, your full head of hair, your gorgeous lips, your, well, whatever. But we don’t all get dealt those cards (again, except for me).

That which is beautiful cannot be dictated by those who wish they were. The concept of beauty resides within he who experiences it. You can show me all the pictures of deformed bodies, fat bodies, skinny bodies and every other kind of body you can find, but you can’t tell me that they’re beautiful. That is a privilege I reserve for myself.

Enough Baby, Enough

I’m just having a random thought here…

The Dow has been down for about 5 days now, the pundits claiming its because of the dramatic drop in oil prices, which are hurting some in the oil industry and straining certain sectors of the economy…

Anyone wanna place bets on how long it takes the Repub outrage machine to blame Obama for allowing too much drilling for oil?

I Think My Cat is a Republican

I was watching my cat last night as all the NYE fireworks were going off in the neighborhood. I noticed some interesting similarities between him and Repubs…

1. Big, conceptual things, like loud noises that he doesn’t understand, cause him to run and hide. He, like Repubs, likes simple concepts that he can manage in small bites. Anything that is too complex for his brain (like the concept of fireworks or Obamacare) overloads his psyche and he just runs under the bed and hides. In other words, he rarely thinks, and mostly reacts to things that scare him.

2. He likes to kill things. (I’ll let you insert your own snarky remarks about guns, war and militant cops).

3. When he sees an adversary who he perceives as weaker than he, the claws come out, he arches his back and he’s ready to pounce. This only happens with things that are smaller and weaker than he is like geckos, small snakes and bugs. He never does this to things more powerful than he. You know, like how we try to control and attack small countries that we perceive as being weak, but Russia and China, nah.

4. He’s extremely territorial. When another animal who looks different than he does tries to come near the house, he goes ape-shit and defends his territory. I’m pretty sure he wishes we had a big wall around the property to keep those Mexican, err, foreign cats out.

5. He’s very secretive especially after I catch him doing something wrong. He just seems to walk away with his head up in the air as if nothing happened, and hope no one will ask too many questions. You know, like when we waterboard people.

6. He struts around the house as if he built it, block by block, disregarding the fact that a higher power (me) was there laying the infrastructure for it well before he was born. He’s proud of the fact that he poops, all by himself, with no help from others, yet disregards the fact that someone else (me) had to buy the damned litter box. He thinks the world is a better place because of the fact that he exists.

7. He sheds everywhere and licks his own butt. (still working on the relevance, but, you know what I mean).

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